It’s not about the FOOD

Having worked with eating disorders for over five years I have had many conversations with many different clients. Each story is unique, the way their eating disorder started, the triggers they feel, how they used their eating disorder to cope, the reasons are all very different. One main point I always try to educate people about is no person who suffers or who has suffered from an eating disorder is the same. The behaviors, patterns may be similar but the underlying issues, reasons etc are all very different. One other point I try to educate people on and bring awareness to is that EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT ABOUT THE FOOD!  One common thing clients have come to me and said was, they were triggered or angered by a family member or friend telling them ” To just eat a burger” “Why can’t you just eat ” These types of  question comes from no fault of the person asking it but it does stem from a lack of understanding and education about the depths of an eating disorder. This is why my mission has always been to increase awareness and education because the more people can understand the many layers to the emotional aspects and causes of an eating disorder the better the support system of those who have an eating disorder can understand and cope themselves. My main message to people is that an eating disorder or any addiction for that matter does not discriminate, it does not care about your race, age, financial situation or gender. It can affect anyone anywhere the more we as a nation can understand eating disorders the more we can help those who are fighting them.

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The common assumption is that eating disorders are about an obsession or fear of food. That the main focus for someone with an eating disorder is a fear of getting fat and body image. While these are slightly true and what seems to be the most focused on, the reality is that an eating disorder like any other addiction or drug of choice is another avenue of emotional coping. It is another way to numb out, to feel a sense or release and to escape or avoid unwanted emotions. Anorexia, Bulimia & Binge Eating are also like a drug they give a person a sense of a high or release. The truth is that an eating disorder is often the cause of some sort of trauma, emotional event, life situation, or a number of many other factors.

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I also like to educate people to not blame the parents or family environment. Like anything else a child may have had very loving healthy parents but an outside source could have caused some emotional damage. A person with low self-worth or without a strong sense of identity may be more vulnerable. . This a why eating disorders  can occur at younger ages because at a younger age the identity is just forming and often times the opinion of peers is so important that it can shape how a young adult or child views themselves. I also often hear that people assume eating disorders are a way for someone to gain attention or  “attention seeking”. This infuriates me and further motivates me on my mission to educate. Someone does not choose to develop an eating disorder it is an all consuming disorder that if someone had a choice to just stop they would. It is like any addiction or disease once it reaches a certain point interventions must done to recover. This is why understanding the emotional background of the eating disorder is crucial to developing an appropriate response and treatment approach. Education at an early age is important. Bullying and the medias portrayal of beauty as well as our nations preoccupation with dieting etc are all contributing factors. 

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My message to everyone is do not judge anyone and assume their road is easy. Do not diminish the struggles and challenges someone may be facing. Instead be curious ask questions, educate yourselves there are too many stereotypes about eating disorders that we must break, we must make people aware of the reality. That there is much more to someone who is suffering from an eating disorder than a fear of getting fat and a fear of food. Look beyond what you see. 

Project HEAL’s new social media & marketing chair… ME!

Happy Tuesday Everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday vacation. I have been keeping very busy and have so many exciting and wonderful projects to announce. I am so excited to announce that I will be Project HEAL’s Southern California Chapters new social media and marketing chair! 

ImageI have always seen my mission as a person and as a therapist to spread hope and love to people who may be struggling not only with eating disorders but self-esteem issues, depression anxiety the list goes on. My heart has always been tied to the eating disorder community and a passion to increase education and spread awareness of just how prevalent eating disorders are in our society and how so many people are suffering from an eating disorder.

When I discovered Project HEAL my heart nearly exploded with excitement and delight. For those of you who may have never heard of Project HEAL they are a non profit organization that was started by two young girls who met while undergoing treatment for anorexia nervosa. They helped each other to reach full recovery, and then wanted to help others achieve it as well. In the spring of 2008, they founded Project HEAL to raise money for others suffering with eating disorders who want to recover but are unable to afford treatment. Unfortunately, insurance coverage for eating disorders is severely lacking, leaving many unable to get the help they need.Additionally, and equally important, Kristina and Liana have expanded Project HEAL’s mission by serving as mentors and consultants with the hopes of diminishing the societal obsession with body image that often contributes to eating disorders.

Project HEAL has since expanded to many different states as well as other countries. When the opportunity came to apply to be Souther California’s social media and marketing chair I jumped at the chance and was so happy to have received the position. Eating disorder awareness in my opinion is lacking, there is little to no education and it such a prevalent disease that affects so many people it leaves me frustrated at times wishing there was a way to spread the message, to tell people what to look for, to spread a message of hope that recovery is possible. Project HEAL is an outlet and organization that is doing all of these things. I love their saying ” I choose to HEAL because.?” I believe that such a simple question yields powerful results. So today I ask the world why do you choose to heal? 

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 I want to thank Project HEAL for allowing me to partner up with your organization so I can continue to fulfill my passion and my purpose which is eating disorder awareness, education and hope. Please visit their website for more information 
visit on Twitter: @ProjectHealSoCa
visit on Instagram: ProjectHEALSoCal
Visit on Pinterest: Project HEAL Southern California Chapter
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Emotional Reactivity? Our Emotions are linked to our body.. What?

One thing I have noticed working with eating disorders is how much the emotional reactivity of someone affects their thoughts, actions and their body sensations.  The eating disorder behavior whether it be through restricting, purging, over exercising, or binging is usually an emotional reaction to a triggering event. I often hear stories such as a mother or father making a comment that is triggering, friends isolating or alienating someone, bullying, a romantic relationship gone awry, the eating disorder behavior is a way for someone to act out their chaotic emotions. I often ask a client of this reaction ” You did this to get back or punish the person who did you wrong or caused you pain but in the end who is it hurting” It often is reflected back to them, it hurts them and feeds into the cycle of self loathing and affirms the belief that they deserve to be punished. In attempting to punish someone else, the cycle ends up punishing them. One of the emotions that I hear come up is anger, anger is one of the most triggering emotions for someone who suffers from an eating disorder. Anger however is a secondary emotion, there is always a bigger emotion almost like the elephant in the room lingering behind anger. Often times we don’t know to to contain or process anger, that is why many people have coping outlets to deal with anger, shame, frustration etc. It can be alcohol, drugs, or eating disorder behaviors. Many times we respond in anger to the words or actions of someone in our life but not only are we responding to what they did or said but how we interpret the meaning of what was done or said. Your body takes on that energy and then inside you feel anger. Our body takes on our feelings and our emotions are what follows. 

One thing I really love to educate my clients on is how to separate from their emotions which is done by teaching emotional regulation. Those who suffer from an eating disorder often have a hard time even identifying the emotions that are stirred up in them so helping them to not only identify their emotions but how it affects their thoughts and body and then being able to regulate them is a powerful thing. That is why I love to work with clients to help them identify these emotions and learn how to think about them, cope with them so they can feel their feelings but not stay stuck in them. There are many great techniques for dealing with emotions, calm music, journaling one thing I find really helpful is opposite action. Opposite Action is a skill from DBT ( Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) .

This skill educates you on one basic fact, every emotions has a leading action. If we feel fear we have an instinct to hide or run away, if we feel sadness we cry etc.

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The second point of Opposite Action is that our actions affect our emotions. It is described as a cycle so if we change our actions we can in turn change our emotions, just as if we change how we deal with our emotions we can change our actions. The big question to ask yourself is ‘Does the situation actually justify the emotion?’ This question will help you know when to apply opposite action & to reverse the cycle. To achieve opposite action it requires you to be very present and in tune with yourself and emotions and you do the work to change the initial thoughts and reaction patterns. 
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It is important to accept your feelings and not judge them or allow yourself to feel guilt or shame for experiencing emotions. My hope is that you realize that your feelings thoughts and emotions are valid and meaningful. We cannot help how we feel sometimes, sometimes our mind and emotions sneak up on us when we least expect it, but through work and time and self awareness you can control how you handle your emotions. 

New Eating Disorder Recovery & Support Group In Orange County!

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The 10 Levels Of Healing!

Today I want to talk about something that I see a lot in working with clients and that is when we are the victim of a trauma, tragedy, life event or circumstance the victimization we feel and pain associated with that stays with us. I work to help the clients I see confront and conquer the victimization they feel in their lives and educate them that they have a choice. A choice to break the victim cycle and begin a process towards self love, strength and healing. 

There are many different ways people heal, it can be through holistic approaches, therapy, acupuncture and many more different outlets. I work with my clients and remind them to be patient in the healing process because it always takes a lot of time and work but it is possible. I think if a person can find the greater purpose of a tragic event or situation it gives them the power to take control and take back what was lost. When we can become aware that we stay trapped in our victim mentalities it enables people from moving on and letting go and it can actually become a role that people embody in all their relationships. 

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I love to use and teach my clients the ten steps of healing taken from the book victim no more written by: Lori Rikowski.

Level 1: Awareness: Identifying with victim behavior ( this is where you start to explore your belief system, make changes and being your healing process

Level 2: Commitment: You commit to change old patterns & begin to practice healing tools. You choose to leave old ways of thinking behind and you follow through with ACTION! Find interests hobbies activities, things that bring you joy, confidence and strength.

Level 3: Results: You notice the results of the changes you are making, your awareness leads you to greater understanding.

Level 4: Processing & Integrating: You have new insights & release old patterns. During this time be present and patient with yourself, set boundaries with yourself and the people in your life

Level 5: Determination becomes stronger: You are determined to create more balance in your life.

Level 6: Increased Awareness: Your increased awareness has led you to be able to identify your patterns and notice when you are in them.

Level 7: Self Worth Expands: Your self worth continues to grow and expand. You start to experience self worth and self love

Level 8: Stopped creating dramas: You are able to go about your life without feeling like a victim, you are able to see people and situations more clearly. You are able to focus on your journey and growth and use a survival instinct rather than a defeatist mentality.

Level 9: Confidence: You have confidence in handling life’s lessons. You accept the world and yourself in the world eve in difficult times. You acceptance results in peace and comfort in even tough situations.

Level 10: Experience: Your life is more pleasurable, you continue to want to grow and be present with the world and with yourself.

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Reasons not to restrict! Don’t fight yourself, fight the illness!

I hope this helps someone out there. An eating disorder is so powerful because it reshapes and takes control of the mind. How you feel, how you see the world, how you see food & how you see yourself. It’s a mental prison that for so many the idea of breaking free & fighting for that mental control back seems impossible. This list of reasons not to restrict is a great tool to start fighting those eating disorder thoughts that tell you why you should restrict. Initially you may read this and not believe some or all of these reasons, ask yourself why? What automatic thoughts come to your mind reading this list? You may say whats the point in this list none of it applies to me? The more you talk back to yourself & question those thoughts you are having the more you can slowly fight back. The more you fill your mind with some positive light instead of dark. One day at a time , one action at a time. You can do it! 

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