Today I want to talk about something that I see a lot in working with clients and that is when we are the victim of a trauma, tragedy, life event or circumstance the victimization we feel and pain associated with that stays with us. I work to help the clients I see confront and conquer the victimization they feel in their lives and educate them that they have a choice. A choice to break the victim cycle and begin a process towards self love, strength and healing.
There are many different ways people heal, it can be through holistic approaches, therapy, acupuncture and many more different outlets. I work with my clients and remind them to be patient in the healing process because it always takes a lot of time and work but it is possible. I think if a person can find the greater purpose of a tragic event or situation it gives them the power to take control and take back what was lost. When we can become aware that we stay trapped in our victim mentalities it enables people from moving on and letting go and it can actually become a role that people embody in all their relationships.
I love to use and teach my clients the ten steps of healing taken from the book victim no more written by: Lori Rikowski.
Level 1: Awareness: Identifying with victim behavior ( this is where you start to explore your belief system, make changes and being your healing process
Level 2: Commitment: You commit to change old patterns & begin to practice healing tools. You choose to leave old ways of thinking behind and you follow through with ACTION! Find interests hobbies activities, things that bring you joy, confidence and strength.
Level 3: Results: You notice the results of the changes you are making, your awareness leads you to greater understanding.
Level 4: Processing & Integrating: You have new insights & release old patterns. During this time be present and patient with yourself, set boundaries with yourself and the people in your life
Level 5: Determination becomes stronger: You are determined to create more balance in your life.
Level 6: Increased Awareness: Your increased awareness has led you to be able to identify your patterns and notice when you are in them.
Level 7: Self Worth Expands: Your self worth continues to grow and expand. You start to experience self worth and self love
Level 8: Stopped creating dramas: You are able to go about your life without feeling like a victim, you are able to see people and situations more clearly. You are able to focus on your journey and growth and use a survival instinct rather than a defeatist mentality.
Level 9: Confidence: You have confidence in handling life’s lessons. You accept the world and yourself in the world eve in difficult times. You acceptance results in peace and comfort in even tough situations.
Level 10: Experience: Your life is more pleasurable, you continue to want to grow and be present with the world and with yourself.